three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
