We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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