is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
