Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
