I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
