Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
