if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
