Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
