Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
