it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
