The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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