too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
