Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
