Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
