Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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