We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
