i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
