I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
