Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
