You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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