i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
