I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
