He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
