Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
