I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
