I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
