and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
