i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
