My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
