so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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