Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
