i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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