If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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