Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
