My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
