I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize