You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize