I'm so fucking centered right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
