whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
