Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
