Sry I called you an 8
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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