I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
