Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
