i was born a porn star she said
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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