I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
