I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
