I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
