i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
