Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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