My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
