"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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