I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
