Sorry, I don't speak sober.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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