Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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