Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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