all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
