have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
