I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
